HAPPINESS IS AN INSIDE JOB

Nothing and no one 'out there' can make you happy

This title could be the beginning, middle, and end of the article all on its own. If we accept its truth, then cultivating happiness becomes very simple. Unfortunately, if you’re human, this is so much easier said than done. Since I assume most of you reading this are human, please read on to find out how to cultivate happiness. As with most things, the solution is simple but not easy.

We are a society trained from birth that there is something inherently wrong with us. Somewhere, lurking deep down, is the fear that we won’t measure up. People have gotten incredibly adept at masking that dread by being the best, the smartest, the richest, the most successful, the biggest, the loudest… and on and on. This sense of wrongness is so loud and so strong that more people succumb to its dark promises than can rise above it.

We are alive at a time when there is widespread poverty, when the gap between the haves and have-nots grows increasingly wider at an alarming and intense rate, when the growing threat of world war looms large. People have also taken that intense self-loathing and turned it outward, targeting specific groups with such bigotry and hatred that it hurts my heart to even contemplate.

This is not an ‘American’ problem or a ‘Western’ problem; it is a Global endemic of us versus them. And it all stems from the even more pervasive issue that our entire focus has become external because focusing inside has become so painful to most of us that we cannot bear to look at what we might find. Still, one of the Universal truths in almost any sacred text or belief system is that we are all one race, one people, one mind. At the cosmic level and spiritual places, there is no separation, no time, no distance, no “us” and no “them”, simply a communal spirit of “we”. What happens to one of us, really does happen to all of us.

What is Happiness

It raises the question what is happiness? More importantly, how do we access and choose lasting happiness? For me, happiness is that sense of peace and quiet Grace. It’s the gratitude I feel when I get into bed at the end of a day with the sense of a job well done. It is the presence I have when I recognize that I’m triggered and I’m experiencing another opportunity for growth and surrender. It is the love I have for every human on the planet, even (and especially) the ones who trigger me. It is breathing into fear and anxiety and overwhelm in order to sit and stay in the discomfort until it is no longer uncomfortable. It is laughing with friends, playing with my daughter, beautiful sunsets, and rainbows after a storm. Happiness to me is surrender and calm, regardless of what storm is raging around me. Happiness is knowing I am the calm in that storm. Can you define what happiness is for you?

Getting to and then staying in this place of happiness and tranquility was not easy, and it requires the now daily, and sometimes multiple times daily, practice of relinquishing my expectations of how things should be. In the two+ decades of my journey into spiritual mastery, I spent a lot of time arguing with reality. “This should never have happened!” “This is not supposed to be like this.” “Why am I still so stuck??”

Almost universally, my absolute insistence on doing things ‘my way’ resulted in strife and struggle at every turn. A friend’s mom sarcastically said to her once, “Why do it the easy way when the hard way is just as good?” For years, this was a recurring theme for me. I even wrote a whole book called Why the Eff Am I Stuck?? because apparently, I really needed to learn the lessons the hard way.

Now, when I catch myself insisting on arguing with reality, most of the time I laugh at myself for doing it again. If I can’t laugh at myself, I have a dear friend who laughs at me, er...with me. Yes, I am a reluctant student, and it took me to have my entire world fall apart a few times (more than a few times) before I actually absorbed the Truth of what it means to surrender fully to Divine will. Learn from my mistakes and learn to surrender now.

The Seeker Never Finds

I have spent the better part of 20+ years seeking every teacher, healer, guru, and spiritual advisor I could access trying to find the elusive pearl that would grant me the peace and presence I longed for. I was a self-development junkie, and I can now designate an alphabet of letters and certifications after my name. The only one I’m missing is ‘X’ so if someone offers a certification in, say Gen X, sign me up.

The reality is all of my teachers and healers were never going to be able to tell me what was wrong with me because nothing ever was. It took me over two decades and tens of thousands of dollars to figure that out. It is now my mission to teach other people what it took me so long to uncover – nothing and no one ‘out there’ can ever make you feel whole inside. Furthermore, when you have the sense of peace and self-assurance in who you are, nothing and no one ‘out there’ can ever

take it from you.

I really truly believe that if every person alive was doing this type of work, we could live in a Utopian world where everyone has and is enough. It is my deeply held conviction and fervent belief that if every person could somehow quell that demon voice of self-doubt and insecurity, even for a minute, then the seeds of Truth could take hold and we could create a world as it was meant to be, in harmony and peace, love and light. Can you imagine what would be possible if every person alive lived a life of meaning and purpose, wholly aligned in our highest Truth?

God (the Universe, Spirit or whatever you consider the source of all life to be) has but one goal for all of humanity – to say yes to our greatness. Who are we to ignore that directive? It is our own steadfast and resolute unwillingness to sit in the discomfort that keeps us in this pattern of destruction, fear, lack and scarcity. This is our free will and our choice. We are the only ones keeping us stuck. We are the only ones creating the hurt and pain in the world.

Where are you spending your energy and attention? How much emotion is tied up in things? Emotion is the great accelerator for manifesting anything, so the more upset, anger, frustration, fear, etc. you feel, the more you are creating the thing you are most upset by, angry at, frustrated with, and afraid of. Conversely, the happier, more joyful, and at peace you are, the more you are creating more of that in your life. Happiness truly is an inside job. Moreover, it is contagious. After three years of a global pandemic, political and social unrest, disease, war, and scarcity at all levels, wouldn’t it be nice to have a happiness epidemic?

In the immortal words of Marianne Williamson, “the revolution that will save the world will ultimately be a personal one.” Our sole job, our sole reason for existing is to live in peace, happiness, and joy. I read somewhere once that being happy is the ultimate rebellion and I could not agree more. Furthermore, each and every one of us is here with a unique and singular purpose, happiness edict, and joy mission. I know with a conviction more certain than my name that every person in this wide world is here to live wholly and fully as ourselves. Right now, the planet and humanity need us and we can no longer afford to be passive about our growth.

Dive into your work heart first and give it everything you have. I promise you the results will be more rewarding than you can possibly even imagine right now. I want for you to plunge into your depths and find your core – the highest self that has never abandoned or forsaken you but has been with you always, keeping you getting up every morning and putting one foot in front of the other. Even if all you have been doing up to this point was surviving, existing, subsisting. I want you to decide that happiness, peace, and joy are the only way forward.

Now is your time to find the voice that has been silenced for years. Now is your time to choose fierce happiness. Now is your time to help me save the world.

Come play with me!